Many moons ago, Jose Mourinho was asked whether he intended to amass 1,000 games in management shortly after Sir Alex Ferguson had passed that particular milestone with Manchester United. The then-Chelsea coach responded that he planned to be safely retired in the Algarve by the age of 55.
Well, it just so happens that Mourinho turned 56 on Saturday meaning that, should he remain true to his prophecy, he has just a couple of weeks left to make his big announcement.
Given that he currently finds himself out of work, it would appear that the planets may have aligned. However, speaking recently, Mourinho sounded very much like a man who is ready and willing to return to management already, revealing to BeIN Sports that he has received no less than three offers since leaving United but turned them all down because they “didn’t feel right.”
“The time that I am without a job in football, I am going to prepare myself for the next,” Mourinho said.
“But the next must be something that makes me really happy with a challenge.”
Should he stick to his guns and decide to call it quits at 55, we should consider the alternative avenues he might pursue in his dotage.
Hollywood
Mourinho could begin by finally producing the movie of his life that he first began casting in 2006 when he touted George Clooney for the eponymous lead role.
“He [Clooney] is a fantastic actor. My wife thinks he would be ideal.”
With a biopic movie under his belt and his foot in the door, Mourinho could also easily branch off into the rough and tumble world of the Hollywood stunt professionals.
After all, nobody prat-falls with quite so much grace and panache.
Jose Mourinho explains his Wembley fall:
“People called me and asked me to fall at Wembley because they need news for me.So I did it on purpose. It was a good dive!” pic.twitter.com/A1lColvtFp
— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) 14 September 2018
Eggs is eggs
Perhaps we can expect Mourinho to resurface at a fine restaurant (or maybe even in the kitchen of the Lowry Hotel). After all, the man certainly knows how to make a top-tier omelette.
“It depends on the quality of the eggs in the supermarket. They are class one, two or three and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. When the class one eggs are not available you have a problem.”
I think, therefore I am
With a sudden influx of time freed up for mindful reflection, Mourinho may want to follow other such ex-footballing luminaries as Dr. Joseph A. Barton into the realm of amateur philosophy.
We know he’s read Hegel — well, at least once sentence — as that’s exactly who Mourinho quoted when attempting to deflect attention from Man United’s dreary 3-0 home defeat against Tottenham in December.
Express H2O delivery service
Do you have a thirst that only 10 bottles of tap water delivered all at once at maximum velocity can quench? We think we know a man who can help…
ICONIC REACTION
Jose Mourinho after Marouane Fellaini’s late winner… pic.twitter.com/cz8n1ZHTB6
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) 27 November 2018
Get lured back in
Should he feel like he has unfinished business as far as football is concerned, now might be the perfect time for Mourinho to accept the ultimate challenge.
In 2015, days after being sacked by Chelsea for the second time, the Portuguese was offered a job by Ibis Sport Club, a Brazilian side who openly refer to themselves as “the worst team in the world.”
Ibis Sport Club de Brasil catalogado como el “peor equipo del mundo” le ofreció un contrato a Mourinho pic.twitter.com/xSWSgjgZ2N
— Jaime F. Macias (@Jaimefmacias) 31 December 2015
Ibis set a world record in the 1980s for going the most number of games without a win (55) and are actually quite proud of that fact. Indeed, the gauntlet laid down to Mourinho was to come in and do his best to keep things exactly as they were, with his two-year contract offer including monthly food hampers and bonuses for every defeat.
Given how the past few months have panned out, it sounds like it might be right up his street.